The Babylon Bee – Sept 1, 2018
RIVERDALE, NY—31-year-old Darlene Austin has always been an avid supporter of socialism, but she recently had an eye-opening experience.
“At a vegan cafe, I met a guy from Venezuela,” Austin explained. “I asked him about how great it must be to live in a country working to end economic inequality, but then he went into a long diatribe about oppression, poverty, and murder.”
Austin admitted she didn’t listen to much of it since she always knew that socialism would have “a few bumps along the way.” But then the man said something that really concerned her: he asked what the crispy bread slathered with a green substance on her plate was.
“He didn’t even know what avocado toast was!” Austin exclaimed. She asked him about whether they had lots of avocados in Venezuela, but he explained it wasn’t just an issue of the availability of avocados but also not being able to get bread and sometimes not having electricity for a toaster.
“He said they never have avocado toast in Venezuela,” Austin stated, looking visibly shaken. “This made me completely rethink things. Socialism seemed like a great idea—a way to make sure everyone was taken care of even if they ran out of their parents’ money—but now I think it might not be ready for prime time.”
Austin said she was still glad Venezuela was trying it out, but wanted to wait until “they get all the kinks out of an equal distribution of avocados” before trying socialism in the United States.