See the entertaining video by the Babylon Bee here
- you can pee standing up and anywhere
- your brain is 3 times the size of a woman’s
- men can smoke cigars w/o looking gross
- you can have an entire conversation w/ another man by just nodding your head
- facial hair is considered attractive & not shaving just makes you look sexier
- your extensive knowledge of everything allows you to explain things to women
- you can wear the same shirt for 38 yrs and always be in fashion
- you make more money than a woman doing the same job
- you are Biblically allowed to speak in Church and tell the little woman what to do
- you have a reduced chance of having Joe Biden sniff your hair
- only men are allowed to be president
- if you want to you can be the world’s strongest woman
Now we know that you nitpickers out there (probably women) notice there are 12 reasons listed and that maybe men can’t count. Nah. This way you can pick the 10 reasons you think are best. Men always have options that women don’t.
Readers’ comments
Mikey
17 hours agoBeing a man today means you’re more likely to win the “woman of the year” award! 1.6K Reply
Gigi Izzy
17 hours ago (edited)As a man, I get to work all the really cool jobs like sewage, mining, construction, military combat, and other risk-free and highly rewarding jobs women beg to get into but can’t. 1.9K Reply
TheHo useholder
18 hours agoBeing a man means you can be the worlds greatest female athlete 
1.7K Reply
Joseph Pratt
17 hours agoAs a man, I only have to half-heartedly decorate the Christmas tree for 2 minutes before a woman steps in to show me how it’s done. 326 Reply
Born A Wise Guy
18 hours ago (edited)As a man, your ability to get to places that you have never been to, w/o asking for directions or using a GPS, is simply astounding! 704 Reply
Mountain Fisher
17 hours agoMy 43 year old daughter laughed at this, but said, Daddies are the best parents. “My daddy took me fishing and explained about the seals, birds and why the fish would be here and not there. My daddy taught me how to fight dirty and when a punk tried to rape me I knew to beat his ass with a piece of split oak firewood, making him run and squeal bleeding like a pig. And my daddy taught me how to shoot and proper bullet placement so when I got my concealed carry permit they didn’t want to give me one because I shot all the profile targets in the head instead of the torso, but I told the judge, ‘I assumed they were wearing body armor.’ so I got my permit. My daddy scared away my boyfriends by throwing tomahawks into a tree, but those who thought it was cool and stayed to watch and learn he’d let ask me out after I was 16. My daddy is proud of me being a mother of 4 and only being married once.” 404 Reply
Wendy Sue
17 hours agoHonestly, as a woman, we all have to agree that number one is the best. 287 Reply
Nick Medley
17 hours agoAs men, we have the capacity to think about absolutely nothing for hours on end, totally a superpower. 687
NekBone
17 hours agoAs a man who can’t compete with other men in strength or endurance competition, I can totally crush women in their competitions just by saying I’m a woman! 204 Reply
Michael DeBusk
17 hours agoIf we’re in a gym and someone admires our form, we get to say “thanks” instead of “I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!” 75 Reply
Reman1975
17 hours agoBeing a man means that you can get into an argument with another guy, end up battering the hell out of each other in the street for 10 minutes, then once that’s out of the way, the victor can show the loser that there’s no hard feelings by going back into the bar with them, and you wind up buying each other shots for the rest of the night. 169 Reply
Emily Acevedo
16 hours agoAs a wife, mother, and sister I endorse this message. And only the Bee can make an entire sketch an add and it’s still on point 
60 Reply
MGD313
18 hours agoMy brain is 3x the size of a woman yet they still make 70% of what I earn? The math doesn’t check out! 367 Reply
Hybrid Mix
17 hours agoBeing a man, i know there are crazy people out there that think we can have babies. So it lifts me up knowing there are people that are far more insane than me. 335 Reply
David
18 hours agoWhen a woman doesn’t understand what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and what good is doing what you’re doing, you can always say, “Sweetie, it’s a man thing!” Nuff said. 473 Reply
Annabella’s “almost” carnivore
15 hours agoI just wanted to say this to the men in here. Thank you. Thank you for being loving and good husbands and fathers, and sons. Thank you for protecting women and children. May God bless you. 
54 Reply
strongmermaid
18 hours agoAs a real women I support this 396 Reply
S. G.
17 hours agoIf you are doing something incredibly stupid just because it seemed like a good idea at the time (an admittedly valid reason), you know your buddies will call you out right up until you need medical attention. At this point they will begin to laugh. Do this enough times and learn from each close call and you get to be called wise. 47 Reply
Loomis
18 hours agoWhen my kids ask me a question I don’t want to answer, I can just respond “Go ask your mother” 215 Reply
Jim C. Goodfellas
18 hours agoBeing a man is pretty great, obviously, because everyone is wanting to be one 296 Reply
KM Paradice
18 hours agoGold as usual. Love it when he says, “You have a brain that’s 3 times the size of a woman’s” and holds up 4 fingers. I think Jethro did that on the Beverly Hillbillies. Wait! Is there a connection? 90 Reply
T C
17 hours ago#10 You can assemble things without reading the instructions. #11 Auto service centers are less likely to try and sell you unnecessary services for your vehicle. (unless you’re driving a Prius) #12 You can drive to any destination without having to stop for directions. #13 You know which way to turn a nut/bolt to loosen it. #14 No strings attached (all month) #15 You don’t care about the condition or color of your undergarments. #16 You can get by with 2-3 pairs of shoes. #17 It’s socially acceptable for you to rent clothes for your wedding. #18 You never worry whether those pants make you butt look big. 29 Reply
Bint Muhammad
18 hours agoAs a sister of 5 brothers , I endorse this message . 437 Reply
Richard T Henry
17 hours agoAs a non woman I can confirm these are true 18 Reply
Cory Freeman
18 hours agoSometimes I pee outside just because I can. 102 Reply
Diana Gero
17 hours agoThis woman declares this list to be AWESOME but too short! 75 Reply
Dues Caymania
18 hours agoAs a man, I don’t feel the need for emotions. Ever. I can just feel the sweet emptiness that comes without them and then wonder why people think I’m cold and distant 146 Reply
Anna Wehmeyer
17 hours agoA man can put on a dress and instantly become woman of the year and have every corporation in America send him freebies and brand deals. 
18 Reply
Lord Buckbeak 