By Sycophant Press – Feb 15, 2021 – from the AP

Dateline: Lincoln, Neb.

Democrat Mayor Leirion Gaylor Baird acknowledges that the citizens of Lincoln are in for a Dark Winter echoing her mentor and spirit-guide, fake president Joseph O’Biden. “He who walks in Darkness” warned us that there would be shortages of natural gas after he closed America’s largest natural gas reservoir in the Marcellus Shale (PA & WV) – 2,836 billion cubic feet.

Mayor Baird continued, ‘It is unfortunate, and no one expected it would happen so quickly, but we are going to have some rolling blackouts of electricity according to LES due to shortages in natural gas.”

“I’m old enough to remember the wonderful Carter years and the gas shortages in the winter of malaise,” she opined with a wistful tear in her eye. “Those were the glory days of democrat policy dominance and we hope to see those again under O’Biden as we return earth to her primordial state of innocence and drive the middle class back to life on a medieval manor. I recommend, like Carter, that you wear two or three sweaters and turn your space heaters off and your thermostats down to 65 during the day and 55 at night.”

Natural gas is an abundant, clean-burning economical resource that had made America energy independent under the guidance of President Donald J Trump for the first time in generations.

“We’re experiencing a pivotal moment in U.S. energy leadership, as the number one producer and exporter of natural gas and oil,” Todd Snitchler, API vice president of market development, said in an announcement in May of 2019. “It’s also a critical time in terms of collaborating and building our Trans-Atlantic LNG relationship, as we have an ability to not only continue to elevate the quality of life in America but globally as well.”

And the benefits of natural gas production go beyond its economic impact, including helping the environment.

“American natural gas has reduced CO2 emissions in the U.S. to the lowest levels we’ve seen in a generation, as well as provided substantial economic benefits to communities across the U.S., and by enabling greater flows of U.S. LNG to the EU we hope to bring more of this clean, affordable and reliable fuel to people around the world,” Snitchler said.

“Well, that has to stop!” declared O’Biden in a prepared statement he had difficulty reading from the teleprompter. “Natural gas is a greenhouse gas and must be replaced with solar panels, windmills and electricity.”

When asked by this reporter where all of that electricity would come from Mayor Baird said, “The outlet in the wall, duh.” When pushed for elaboration on the question of sourcing those vast amounts of new electrical production Baird replied, “We will cross that bridge when we get there.”

Because climate guru Algore has assured us of much warmer winters and no more snow we asked the Mayor what she thought of our record snow falls and record low temperatures.

“I will circle back to that question.” she responded.