Mayor unable to clear snow but proud of gender representation on snowplows

My original photo Jan 26, 2021

By Sycophant Press – Jan 26, 2021 – from the AP

Dateline: Lincoln, Ne.

Democrat Mayor Leirion Gaylord Baird acknowledges that citizens of Lincoln are upset that she has failed to clear the streets. She says that Nebraskans have a bad habit of wanting to get to work and need to chill out and get with the times.

In Portland, Oregon, where mayor Baird hails from (and is currently on fire again from recent riots by Antifa and BLM) people gladly stay home from work for three days before and three days after any appreciable snow fall. She fails to see what the big deal is.

“Where I’m from, a far more progressive state than Nebraska, (ED note: O’Biden carried Oregon by nearly 17 points) we make sure that all of the major genders are represented on our snowplow crews,” said the mayor.

She then proudly listed off the genders. “There are transgender, transsexual, gender queer (GQ), gender fluid, non-binary, gender variant, crossdresser, genderless, agender, nongender, pangender, third gender, gender neutral, asexual, bi-gender, trans man, trans woman, transmasculine, transfeminine, gender-bender and neutrois. Stop me whenever you want, I can name at least 30 just off the top of my head.”

When this reporter asked her which gender she preferred to be identified with she hesitated and said, “We are in Nebraska where the locals only generally recognize male and female so I’d rather not say.”

Having barely survived a recall effort by citizens who were alarmed at her mishandling of the riot in Lincoln this past summer and her heavy-handed ramming through of a new county health director who would tow the liberal line (that we are all going to die from Covid-19), she noted it was inappropriate to speculate.

We asked her (him, it, shim, he/she, et al.) what progress had been made about seeking a fair gender representation on the city snow removal crews and she (he, you know, the thing) responded, “We’re not up to the standards of Portland yet but that is why I moved to Nebraska from the Left coast. Nebraska will never change by electing homegrown people. It is important for progressives to move here with the mission of changing this backward state into a workers’ paradise, ah oh, sorry. It is important to achieve gender equality and so we give preference to snow removal persons who appear on the nontraditional spectrum of gender – snow removal experience is not a high priority.

She added, “That respected climate genius, Algore, has already informed us that we may never see snow again, and with manmade global warming a reality, I see no reason to prioritize snow removal in the city budget.”

Asked when Lincolnites can expect to have the residential streets cleared she said, “I’m almost certain we will have them clear of snow by summer.”

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