My cmnt: First – heads up. There are a lot of vulgarities, profanities and very crude dialog in here. The skit can be listened to below. Beware it is ‘R’ rated (or worse) and not for children.

My cmnt: My commentary on this piece can be found at the bottom of this post. Read the dialog or listen to the skit first before reading my remarks.

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Hey guys, so what’s up? You gonna show me this talking goat you hang out with or what?

All right, but we can’t stay long cuz we gotta get to that reggae fest. Yeah, and you gotta be quiet cuz the old man who lives in the house, he doesn’t like anyone talking to his goat. Okay.

Boy yells loudly: Hey goat, how’s it goin’?

Huh? It’s dark, I cannot see you, come closer…hello?

Hey, what’s up?

Hey man, what’s going on? Hi, what’s the good word there?

So what are you doin’? Just, ah, sitting there on the pickup truck?

Hey hey hey, wise guy, I’m tied to it with a three foot rope so pretty much my options are limited you fucking wiseass. What’s going on fellas?

Hey is the old man around?

No no no that cock sucker’s sleeping, man, fucking passed out. He was drinking since this morning, like three pints of fucking Jimmy Beam. He’s fucking whacked out of his skull, fuck him.

Hey, by the way Goat, this is our friend Robert.

Hello Robert, uh, salutations.

Wow. You’re a talking goat.

Yeah, that’s great, I can talk, terrific. So what were you doing, playing the football or something? Throwing it around, like the boys?

Yep, we were throwing it around. Yes we were. Hey goat, you want us to untie you for a little while?

No, I love to sit on the truck all fuckin’ — yes, that would be great. Would you untie me cuz my fucking hind legs man, they are fucking cramped.

You sure the old man’s not gonna get pissed or anything?

I told you, he’s fucking passed out, that fucking piss drunk cock. He’s just laying there on the floor, he’s not gonna find out, he lives his fucking life in an alcoholic haze man, his life’s a blur, fuck him.

Hey.

What?

You’re a good goat.

I know.

You know, you take a lot of the old man’s shit.

I do.

Yeah, we heard him beating the shit out of you a couple of nights ago.

You guys heard that?

Yeah.

Where were you?

At my house.

You–f–he was fucking beating me loud, huh?

Oh yeah, he was screaming.

He was going off that night. He’s got this new hickory stick and he fucking goes off with that thing. He was really lacing into me. Apparently he found out some bad news that his ex-wife was fucking his brother or something like that and he went off the fucking deep end man, just fucking–first time he used fists.

(Boys all laughing at this idea)

You know, usually he hits me with the stick, and just fucking whacks away. This time he dropped the stick, and you know, he fought me like fucking 30’s style boxing, putting the dukes up. He’s like, “Put your dukes up.” I’m like I got fucking no dukes.

Old man, relax.

Anyways, you guys said you were gonna untie me, so maybe you should untie me, somebody said that right?

C’mon, let’s untie him.

Yeah great. Sure, sure. Great, wow, your new friend’s not a bad kid. Hey maybe you guys could help me down. It’s a fucking three foot drop, my legs aren’t what they used to be. All right, here we go, 1, 2, 3, lift. Ah yes, team work, that’s nice to see. Ooh, the grass is soft.

Hey goat, go out for a pass.

Haha, yeah, go out wha–with the football, you’re gonna throw it? It’s a little too big, you know, a football. If you guys had a–uh–a tennis ball, I could see, but I gotta catch it with my mouth, you know. I don’t got no fingers, like you guys, so, a football, that could cause some damage. But–ah–what else?

Just give it a try, c’mon.

Eh? Oh, fuck me, all right.

All right. Go deep. (Boy throws football super hard right at the Goat’s head and hits him in the eye)

Ow, fuck me in the goat ass! Shit! You fucking whizzed that thing.

Ha ha. Right in the eye, that musta hurt.

Fuck. That thing is pointy fellas, fucking–a regular Staubach over there.

You OK, goat?

Yeah, you buttonhooked me. I didn’t know you were gonna buttonhook me.

I think you got a knot there.

Huh?

A knot.

Yeah, you better NOT mention that again, you cock sucker. Anyways, what else fellas, what are you doing? We should go get some beers or look at girls or whatever.

Actually, we’re going to the reggae fest.

Ooh, the Ragu Festivool.

Ahh, ragu, reggae.

I heard about that thing on the AM radio.

Oh, you did huh?

Yeah, sure, sometimes the old man passes out, and he leaves the AM radio on. I get to hear the oldies songs, and some current event kind of things, you know, the DJ’s like to talk and I pay attention to them. It’s not MTZ, you know, like you guys listen to, but it keeps me company. I don’t watch the TV cuz I’m not allowed in the house. The fucking old man says, you come in the house, I’ll give you an even worse beating. One time I went in the house, you know, and I know why he doesn’t want me to go in there.

Why not?

Cuz the fucking house reeks worse than my nuts do. The fucking old man’s gotta get a maid. Anyways, so, you gotta go to the big Ragu show, eh?

Yeah, we’re going.

The ragu festival? Maybe I could tag along, that’d be fun. You know, we could do the mosh pit.

Well, actually uh…

Throw me around. Put me on the mosh pit, pass me around, you know?

Yeah goat.

Crank it up, fuckers.

Well… The goat’s losing it. Well, we only have 3 tickets.

Boy that hurts.

Yeah, but we’re still gonna go anyways.

You’re gonna go and you’re gonna have a good time. And I’m gonna sit here on the truck and fucking watch my cock get smaller. You know, fuck me.

So goat, how are the neighborhood kids treating you? They still shitting on you or what?

Yeah, you know. Not as much as they used to. You fucking kids growing up, you guys would fuck with me.

Ah, no, no.

These kids are fucking, you know, little pansies compared to you. Except this one fat shit, Giarraputo, you know who I’m talking about? The fucking ten year old fucking little wise guy? He’s a porker, that kid, the fat shit. He takes out his fat aggression on me, you know, to try to impress his friends. He’s always fucking with me, throwing rocks at me, and calling me stinky nuts.

Oh shit.

One time he went overboard one day. Last week he chucked a fucking cinder block at me. It was fucked up, you know, he chipped one of my horns. That kid’s a sick fuck, you know. He’s gonna grow up and fucking kill somebody. He’s a fucking mental case. Keep your eye on him.

Okay.

But I’m gonna get even man. He’s gonna get too close to the truck one day. I’ll bite his fucking ear off.

Oh, don’t do that.

That’s a fucking promise man, you fuck with me too long, you get fucked with.

He’s just a kid.

I know, I’m all talk, fuck me, I know. How can I bite his ear off? I can’t even bite through the fucking rope, you know. I talk out my ass. You guys are fun though. So sit down.

Actually, we gotta get going to the show, you know?

Oh, you’re getting off to the show, you’re busy, eh?

Yeah. Gonna start soon.

Great, all right, well you guys have a good time. Hey, maybe you could come back tomorrow, you know?

I dunno goat.

Bring that shit you guys always talk about, the fucking, uh, the reefer. You guys always like to get high, I don’t mind watching. I’ll fuck with you while you’re high.

Well, if there’s any left after the show.

All right. I remember that time you guys came over stoned, and you kept um, you know, making me chase my tail. You guys had a good time, I’ll do it again, I don’t give a fuck. By the way, hey.

Yeah?

That time we went uh, to the roller coaster ride, when the old man was on vacation…

Yeah, right.

That was a fun time, I wanted to tell you. That almost fucked me in the long run. We were–remember the roller coaster ride? Yeah. When we were on the loop did dee loop.

Loop did dee loop, right.

And it took the fucking picture when we were up on the loop, and it took the picture of us?

You were screaming.

I was screaming. I’d never been on a roller coaster, you guys are used to that shit, well, I fucking had the picture, in the pickup truck. You know, of us on the roller coaster. Right. And the old man comes, the old man comes home drunk one night, and he’s like, what the fuck is this picture, you know. Were you on a roller coaster? Did you leave the truck? I fucking, quick goat thinking, I go, they fucking superimposed me man, what the fuck you want from me?

Good idea.

You know what the old man says?

What’d he say?

He says, “Oh, ok,” he’s walking away I hear him go, “What’s superimposed?” The fucking moron, the fucking moron! I loved it.

Yeah, goat, yeah.

Hey, maybe tomorrow you guys come by, eight o’clock, you know, a little early, we’ll fucking hook up. I’ll tell you why, I know the old man’s gonna be passed out cuz it’s tax season. He gets fucking royally shit faced you know when he finds out he has to pay fucking money.

(The boys decline and make rejection noises)

Nah, yeah? We could go dancing or something, you should stop by.

We’re gonna be kinda busy.

No, all right, you’ll be busy. I’ll be busy too, you know, sitting on the truck with the fucking rope tied around my neck but – yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah that’s fine. You guys really gotta go though, huh?

Yeah, it’s getting a little late.

Well, maybe before you go you get me back on the truck, you know, its a three foot thing, I can’t fucking get up there.

No, nah, we don’t have the time man.

Well now you’re fucking bullshitting me aren’t you? Get me on the truck? C’mon, help out.

Sorry man, we gotta get outta here.

All right, see you. Have fun.

Later goat.

Have good mosh pitting.

Right, right.

Fuck me I gotta get on this fucking truck. I hope I do not wake the old man cuz he is a fucking lunatic lately. All right, here we go. It’s fucking slippery. (Goat making all kinds of noise trying to get back up on the truck)

OLD MAN: Hey goat!

Oh, shit

What the hell’s going on out there?

Uh, nothing old man. Just sitting here on the pickup truck, tied to it as usual.

Cuz if you even think of getting off that truck, I’ll take out my hickory stick and shove it up your smelly goat ass.

Ok, loud and clear. I understand, old man. Now go back to sleep. You got a big day of drinking and beating the fuck out of me tomorrow, so get your rest.

Yeah, you’re right.

Yep.

Goodnight goat.

Ahhh, goodnight old man, good night.

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My cmnt: The profanities and vulgarities of the Goat are comical because of their very excess and his creative stringing of them together in a non sequitur manner. The Goat obviously has no formal education nor nurturing by sentient, caring parents for his enculturation seems to be entirely from the vulgar and thoughtless neighbor boys he grew up around and the profane and vile old man.

My cmnt: This skit is pure genius by Sandler as it illuminates how cruel and uncaring boys (people in general) can be to the obvious, undeserved plight of a fellow person; one they know well, grew-up with and consider a friend. Yet the goat is merely a source of amusement and distraction to the boys who treat him as a curiosity and his torments by the old man and neighborhood kids as just a natural part of the Goat’s life to be accepted with grace (i.e., he’s admonished NOT to retaliate to the abuses of Giarraputo – because he’s just a kid) and good humor.

My cmnt: The Jewish scriptures (i.e., the Old Testament – and even the New since it too was almost entirely written by Jews) tell of God separating the sheep from the goats, the scapegoat bearing the sins of the nation, etc. So the Jewish people being represented as a Goat by Sandler is telling.

My cmnt: To me this skit is in line with Adam Sandler’s character Count Dracula in Hotel Transylvania. Hotel Transylvania represents Israel and is a small place where Jews can be Jews and live in relative safety. Even when Dracula’s daughter marries a human their child fits into neither world as both Dracula and his aged Father strongly hope the child will be a vampire. Both the Goat and vampires and the other Monsters are allusions to the Jews and their general mistreatment and abhorrence by the rest of the world. And while the Jews live and work with the Gentiles, and often serve as a source of entertainment, they are not part of their world no matter how hard they try to fit in nor how much they just want to be left alone. This is illustrated by the obscene language the Goat adopts from the boys and the old man and further by many Jewish people becoming doctors, lawyers, physicists, dentists, etc. Despite their education, talent and gifts to the world, including the Messiah, they must always accept that they are only being tolerated, never truly accepted.

My cmnt: It never occurs to the boys that the goat is being severely abused and mistreated and so they should alert the authorities. This is because the authorities are part of the problem and in on the abuse. But even worse than that, the goat considers them his friends and protectors even as they totally ignore his plight; his loneliness, boredom, and torments are none of their concern and simply a source of passing interest and amusement. The old man is a crazed and drunken miscreant with a host of his own issues but the boys are supposedly nice and normal, liberally endowed products of our public educational system – like the highly educated Germans of the Nazi era – who are blind to their casual cruelty and indifference to the suffering handed out by their own duly elected officials to the Jews.